There is no magic road to knowing oneself. Introspection and contemplation of that age-old question “Who am I?” is no guarantee of answers or insight into what makes you tick. While you cannot know the mind of another, your own mind can be equally shrouded in mystery, your heart a curtained room.
I was born in two minds, borne on the hands of science and the wings of art and I know not who I am. I try to walk the blurred dividing line between rationality and surrealism, drunk on the nectar of the gods, swaying to and fro. Now I am scientist; now I am artist.
This is the eternal paradox of my life – I do not belong. Repos ailleurs. And yet I believe that this tension between two ways of seeing life is the wellspring of my creativity. It is the spark that flies between two opposites and crackles a universe into life.
As I prepare to cross the line back into veterinary science, I peer through a crack in the smudged window of my soul and see the phoenix wink at me. It has been silently growing for years. I never knew.
Vertigo hits me as I try to balance my oscillating soul. The ballast of my art and writing keeps me from falling headlong into a scientific abyss. It works both ways. I need the scientific stimulation to fertilise my creativity.
I am on the road again. A new adventure waits. And “peace comes dropping slow”.